Preface

I'll preface everything with this: I over analyze and generally think too much. You probably already know that. I just think maybe this could help some people in their own lives because it's helped me and I hope it might help you.

I've ranted about this working theory to a small group of people and now realize that more might be able to benefit from it if we are aware of how our personalities work and interact with each other then we can possibly save ourselves from some torment.. I e. why is it that when we're alone we click and everything is exactly what i want but then one or the other or both get into a different setting or environment and everything falls apart? Or why is it that these two people who are nothing alike together and happily married? Maybe some of the perplexities of relational phenomena can be cleared up with this working theory.

Personality Spectrum

Visualize as a color wheel or for the mathematically minded, a circle of (naturally) 360 degrees.

multi-faceted individuals who have highly complex personalities have many different colors or degrees that comprise their personality as a whole. some people just have a couple of colors or even just one if they feel that they want to be the same person in every situation. neither is superior nor inferior, just different styles.

this theory builds upon two other well known theories involving peoples interactions with one another: like attracts like, or you are who you attract; and opposites attract. this means that if i were a color, say red, or 0 degrees for the engineers out there, then i would be attracted and mesh the easiest and best with someone who was also red or, in contrast, blue (180 degrees) as they are opposites. This is easy to grasp and not really original conceptually I believe since I've had to take personality tests that group everyone into one of four colors. The twist I'm proposing is a complexion of this idea with the multiple facets of the human personality. At home with a friend I will be red. Out in a bar setting with a couple of drinks I'm green. If I'm on a date I am blue. These are arbitrary since I'm just formulating a qualitative theory and I'm not actually proposing something to measure any of this. I just want people to be aware of these things because maybe it will help them understand why they can be completely attracted and connected with a person and still NOT be meant to be with them completely. There are some areas on this metaphorical color wheel and circle where we, on a personal level, cannot go. There are some colors we just can't see. There are some degrees our function can't ever equal. This could be why you can have the most amazing dates with people one on one, spend some great nights of bonding and getting to know one another yet not have a healthy functional relationship. This is how you can be physically attracted to someone like you have NEVER been before, yet no fruit can come from the tree of that relationship. The numbers and colors don't add up.

Some people theoretically could change the colors they see to relate to those around them. Good communicators with people whose views they don't necessarily share. Be able to put themselves in their shoes and relate to them as if they were that color and only that color, yet not be at heart. However, during their interaction, they can somewhat become that color as a means of relation and empathy. Or they can switch between their different facets to go to the one that closest relates to the situation whether opposite or similar.

There's give in the acceptance range, a standard deviation, a buffer. I believe it to be about 10 percent. Arbitrary still, though the point I'm trying to make is demonstrated. Finding someone the exact same shade of red as me or the exact same degree to the tenth decimal place is rare and unfeasible. This could also explain somewhat how people who are seemingly so much alike are able to play off of each other and grow and expand themselves internally through their interactions together. If I am 10 percent to the left of red and I'm hanging out with someone who is 10 percent to the right of red, since like attracts like we are able to meet in the middle, maybe even bring each other to the side we originated from, and in the process learn the shades between which were once foreign. Deepening our understanding for other colors, shades, personality types in the process.

Also there's the possibility that the connection being made between the two people, whether like or opposite, will create an entirely new color for their relationship together, which in itself could take on different levels of different colors depending on different environments.

I'm not trying to say that if the colors aren't the same or opposite that nothing could ever come of it, I'm just saying that it will be much harder. that it will take a great deal of effort, I believe, because something will be... off. My thoughts on this, my theory, is that it would boil down to two incredibly important aspects. Communication and content. If I'm at 0 degrees and someone else is at 90, I believe it will either be somewhat of a chore to communicate with them efficiently, or we will struggle for things to talk about. The conversations won't flow, it won't be fluid and intriguing, it won't leave you wanting more and dreading when the time has come for it to end.

I don't think i need to go into the details of opposites attracting because pretty much every sitcom you see on TV and every movie you watch has the romantic interests coming from completely opposite places with completely opposite personalities. It makes for some easy and awesomely entertaining writing and situations, and I think we have a wealth of knowledge on those types of relationships.

I'm still working on all this and it started out as something I just randomly made up but I liked it so I wrote it out. I don't know why it came to me so late and why I couldn't go to sleep until I type something, but it did and so I did. The only reason I wrote anything is so that we can learn about ourselves and try to find the person who has the most color compatibility in the most areas as us. If we try to pursue someone who is compatible with us only on one level of our personality and not the rest, then we're going to be fighting a major uphill battle. The problem lies in the fact that we all want to fight for something with a person that we feel a connection with. Even if it's only in one area we think, "but I have definite strong feelings! I must just be doing something wrong or they're doing something wrong and once that gets fixed then everything will work out fine." I don't think that's always the case. I think a lot of times we're just trying to force all of our "colors" to match up with the colors of these persons of interest for whatever reasons we might have. We don't want to be alone is pretty much the reason why I can see anyone attempting that. But the problem is sometimes it's impossible to dilute our colors into theirs. You can't mix red and orange and get blue.

These are just thoughts for you to ponder. I'm not trying to preach or anything, just write out some of my thoughts to maybe inspire some of your own about the topic and maybe force some introspection in us all. I can't help it, my brain won't shut up. Ignore all this if it's annoying you. It's done right now anyway, haha!